Find A Kitten, Pick It Up
by Bookwrm389
Summary: "Al was NEVER going to let him live this down." Chaos erupts at the Tucker mansion when Edward secretly rescues three kittens from a blizzard.
1. Strays In The Snow

_A.N. This takes place in the first anime while Ed and Al are staying with Shou and Nina Tucker. Short story, short chapters, 'nuff said._

Chapter One - Strays In The Snow

If there was one thing Ed hated, it was a hypocrite. Practice what you preach, that was his motto.

Okay so once in awhile, he got on another alchemist's case if they tried to perform human transmutation. Classic case of pot calling the kettle black. But it wasn't like Ed was planning to do it again so they'd better damn well listen to him because, when it came to the consequences, he knew what he was talking about! And if the day ever came when he became a father, Ed had already sworn to never walk out on his children like his bastard of a father had done to him and Al. But most of all, Ed _always_ stood by whatever rules he had to impose on Al in lieu of a parental figure. If Al couldn't have that colorful chalk because it was too expensive, then Ed denied himself the fabric for a brand new coat. He also made a point of cleaning and maintaining his automail in front of Al so the younger wouldn't have any ammunition when Ed ragged him about taking care of the armor.

And if Ed said they had to leave the stray kittens exactly where Al found them, then that was where they stayed! All three of them, outside in the snow. Starving and cold and wet. Fragile eyes watching somberly as the brothers turned their backs and walked away...

"You damned _hypocrite!_" Ed hissed as he stomped through the snow two hours later, clutching his hood tight so the wind wouldn't blow it off his head. The storm was quickly reaching whiteout conditions and he was having trouble putting one foot in front of the other. He hadn't thought it would get _this_ bad when they left the kittens behind. At long last, Ed arrived at the correct alley and he scanned it right and left until he spotted the box where Al had found the kittens. An inch of snow had already blown inside and frozen into a patch of ice that coated the bottom. The kittens were nowhere in sight.

Maybe someone else had picked them up? Ed hovered by the box indecisively, wanting nothing more than to run back to the Tucker mansion and take a nice, hot shower. Instead, he stepped further into the alley, straining to hear something over the wind. But there was nothing, not even a little mewl of distress from the shadows.

Ed turned back to the entrance of the alley, took one step...and he felt a set of miniature claws hook into his pant leg. That was when he saw them. Two were huddled under a shoebox near a dumpster while the third, a gray tabby, had braved the cold to get his attention. Ed's heart twisted painfully at the pitiful sight and he squatted down, pulling the tabby close to his chest.

"Trying to save your brothers, huh?" Ed murmured into the wet fur. The kitten tucked its head under his chin, too far gone to make any sound at all.

Al was _never_ going to let him live this down.


	2. Inside The Tucker Mansion

Chapter Two - Inside The Tucker Mansion

Ed wanted to get the kittens back to the Tucker residence as soon as possible, but he couldn't move much faster than a slow jog without jostling them. The gray and orange tabbies had each taken up residence in the inside pockets of his coat while the black kitten had to settle for his shoulder under the hood. He could feel that one's breathing slowing down by the minute and Ed prayed they wouldn't die before he even had a chance to help them. That would just be the height of irony.

At long last, the mansion came in sight and Ed trudged up the icy path to the front door. The blizzard was only expected to get worse as the night wore on. They might even get snowed in. How was he supposed to keep the kittens hidden from the residents until he found them new homes? Nina and Al would probably be ecstatic if they found out, but this was Mr. Tucker's house. Then again, the Sewing-Life Alchemist was pretty out of it these days, so he was the least likely to notice the new additions.

Ed entered the house as quietly as he could and shut the door tight behind him. Down the hallway, he could hear Al and Nina playing in the library and he flattened himself against the wall. Shou was probably in the study upstairs or the lab in the basement, absorbed in his work. If all went well, Ed would get the kittens warm, fed and well-hidden before anyone even noticed he was back.

He took a step in the direction of the stairs then froze when the library door swung open. Alexander stuck his head out curiously, but at least he didn't seem inclined to tackle anyone at the moment.

Until one of the kittens chose that exact moment to let out a tiny whimper. Alexander barked loudly and barreled down the hallway. Before Ed could even think to run for it, the giant dog got up on two legs and pressed his paws to his chest, pinning him against the wall.

"Get off you stupid dog!" Ed said frantically, trying and failing to shove him back. It didn't help at all that the two of them were almost evenly matched in weight. Alexander stuck his nose in Ed's hood and sniffed enthusiastically, causing the kitten on his shoulder to slip down into the sleeve of his coat. Ed caught him just as he fell out of the cuff and stuffed him back under his shirt.

The door to the library swung open a little wider and Nina rushed out with a shout of excitement. "Little Big Brother's back!"

Ed braced himself for a tackle hug, but Nina merely took Alexander's collar and easily pulled him back. He would never understand how she found the strength to do that. Down the hallway, Al peered out of the library door.

"Brother, you look freezing!" Al exclaimed. "Come sit by the fire for awhile."

"Uh, can't!" Ed said curtly and yanked his coat closed with one hand. He could feel the kittens squirming around in his pockets and the one under his shirt was biting his finger, clearly not happy with being suffocated. He took off running up the stairs with Alexander hot on his heels.

"Ed, what...?"

"Bathroom!" Ed yelled over his shoulder.

At the top of the stairs, Ed skidded around a corner and his wet shoes slipped on the wood floor. He caught himself on his wrist just in time before he could land on his stomach and squash the kittens. Alexander pounced over him and seized the red coat in his teeth, trying to wrestle it off. Ed only just got free and made a run for the bathroom at the end of the hallway, slamming the door in Alexander's face.

Finally! Ed crouched down and one by one set the kittens on the linoleum. They were looking a lot livelier now. Though still wet and shivering, all three took in their warm surroundings in amazement and one was even limping around.

As long as he was here, he might as well get them cleaned up. Ed fished around under the sink until he found a little basin, probably meant for washing dishes. What it was doing in the bathroom, Ed couldn't say, but he was learning that every room in this house contained items that didn't belong in it. He filled the basin up with a little warm water and set it in the tub.

When he turned around, there were only two kittens.

Ed nearly panicked when he saw the black kitten trying to squeeze under the door where Alexander's nose was sniffing around. He pulled the little guy back from the door and stuck him in the basin with his brothers. None of them were happy about the water, but they tolerated being cleaned with a washcloth if only because he was lavishing so much attention on them.

Just as he was drying the kittens off, a knock came at the door. "Brother, Nina wants to know if you got the milk."

"What milk?" Ed asked.

"…the milk you went out in a snowstorm to get?"

Ed cursed under his breath. How could he have forgotten that? He had volunteered to go get some for Nina as an excuse to find the kittens.

"They were out," Ed replied with a forced laugh. "What a waste of time, huh? Went all the way downtown just to get that crap only to come back empty-handed."

"Downtown?" Al said incredulously. "Mr. Tucker told you to just go ask the neighbors for some."

Ed's mind raced as the silence dragged on. "They were out too," he said firmly.

"All of them?"

"All of them! That's why I went downtown!"

"That's a lot of dedication considering it was _milk_," Al teased.

"Do you mind, Al?" Ed snapped. "Trying to take a piss in here!"

"Okay, sorry! Sheesh, cranky much…?"

"I'm not cranky!" Ed hollered, but Al was already walking away. He scowled down at the three balls of fluff that had gotten him into this mess. All three ignored him studiously in favor of giving each other cat-baths. "Time to find a hiding spot for you guys. You're probably hungry, too."

Carefully, Ed bundled the kittens up in the towel and made for the door. He was so lost in his thoughts on where exactly he would hide the three of them that he almost plowed right into Shou. Luckily, the alchemist was too distracted by the notes he was reading to notice that the towel was moving.

"Welcome back, Edward," Shou said amiably. "I hope your trip wasn't too difficult?"

"Eh, not much," Ed mumbled, now acutely aware that his hair and clothes were still damp from the snow. "I was just, you know, taking a shower…"

"I imagine it was quite a cold shower," Shou noted with concern. "You're awfully pale. Is the hot water not working?"

"No, no it's fine!" Ed babbled. "I just…I like cold showers!"

Shou gave him an odd look and Ed could have kicked himself. Who in their right mind _liked_ cold showers? But Shou merely nodded thoughtfully and continued on his way, leaving Ed to set off down the hallway with a sigh of relief. The kittens were fidgeting again and he didn't know how much longer he could hang onto them.

A place to hide...a place to hide...his and Al's room was out of the question, but there were plenty of other guest bedrooms scattered throughout the mansion. Ed picked one at random and opened the door. It looked like this room was being used as storage for Nina's old things. Boxes of clothes and toys were stacked against the walls and in the back Ed found a basket with a thick cushion inside, just the right size for a newborn baby.

"This'll work," Ed said in satisfaction as he unwrapped the towel. "You guys will be right at home…where'd your brothers go?"

The orange tabby cocked his head in a flawless, _I-didn't-do-it_ pose. Ed twisted around just in time to see a black tail whisk around the corner into the hallway. Seconds later, Alexander rushed by.


	3. Cat, Dog And Shrimp

Chapter Three - Cat, Dog And Shrimp

"Alexander, _no!_"

Ed had just enough presence of mind to close the door behind him before he went after the dog. He honestly couldn't tell if Alexander was defending his territory or if he just wanted to play. Either one could be hazardous to a kitten's health. Up ahead, the kittens split up and Alexander went careening around the corner after the tabby, wiping out a potted plant in the process. Ed took that opportunity to catch up and clasp his arms around the dog's neck. "Gotcha! You're not going anywhere!"

Alexander leapt to his feet, hoisting Ed up on his back in the process, and took off running like he wasn't even there.

"_Alexandeeeeerrr!_"

Ed held on for dear life as the dog sprinted for the stairs where the gray tabby was making his clumsy way down to the first floor. The kitten hissed a warning over his shoulder, which only spurred Alexander on even more. And Ed realized belatedly that those stairs were coming up pretty damn fast with Alexander showing no signs of slowing down.

"_Don't even think about it, you mutt!__"_

Too late. Alexander plunged down the staircase headfirst and Ed was flung into open air. He tumbled down the stairs and skidded halfway across the entrance hall at the bottom until he came to a halt by slamming into a wall. The kitten ambled by a moment later and Ed groaned when he vanished through the door of the library. He was lucky there was no one inside now or he would have been busted then and there. It was a miracle already that no one had heard him fall down the stairs.

At least Alexander spared a moment to sniff him over and make sure he wasn't dead. Ed's hand shot up and gripped Alexander's collar tightly. "Man's best friend my _ass!_" he growled. "If Nina didn't love you, you'd be an icicle out in the yard by now!"

Ed rose to his feet sluggishly, using the dog for support, and approached the library door. Somewhere among the bookcases he could hear the padding of tiny paws. Alexander whined and strained against his collar, eager to continue the hunt.

Ed rapped him sharply on the head. "Listen up, you! You've got a good nose, so you're going to help me find him. But _no biting!_ Got that, mutt?"

"What are you doing, Little Big Brother?"

Ed jumped a foot in the air at the sound of Nina's voice and lost his grip on Alexander's collar. The dog tore into the room and Ed snapped the door shut, turning toward Nina with a quick grin. "Doing? I'm not doing anything! Nope, not a thing!"

Alexander's excited bark warned Ed that the kitten had been found, and he winced when he heard an angry yowl.

"What's that?" Nina asked, trying to peer around Ed. "It sounds like a kitty!"

"It's, uh…Alexander's chasing a rat!" Ed said in sudden inspiration.

"A rat?" Nina yelped. "We've gotta catch it!"

Ed did a double take. "Huh?"

"We've _got_ to!" Nina wailed. "Before it eats Daddy's books!"

She pushed her way past Ed to open the heavy door, but he pulled her back and set her down next to the wall. "Don't worry, I'll catch it!" he said hurriedly. "But you can't go in there, ok? Cause rats have diseases and stuff and I don't want you getting sick. Just wait out here."

Nina sniffled a little, but nodded obediently. Ed could feel her eyes on him as he entered the library and locked the door behind him. He felt bad about lying to Nina, but it couldn't be helped. Four-year-olds weren't exactly experts at keeping secrets.

Further in, Ed found Alexander circling one of the bookcases. Beside it was a series of stacked of boxes filled with books he and Al had checked out of the library, which explained how the kitten had gotten himself trapped on the very top of the bookcase. Unfortunately, there were no ladders and the only stool was just tall enough to let him reach the top shelf and no higher. Ed sized up the bookcase, wondering if the shelves would keep his weight. He gripped one above his head and hoisted himself up. The wood creaked ominously and the bookcase swayed, but it seemed solid. He scaled the bookcase with painstaking slowness, taking his time so he wouldn't lose his balance.

Once he reached the top, Ed swung one leg over so he was straddling the bookcase and stretched a hand toward the kitten. "Here, kitty kitty kitty…"

The tabby backed away from him, balancing precariously at the very edge. Alexander woofed fretfully and set his paw on one of the shelves. Ed scooted closer and tensed when the bookcase swayed again.

"Come on," Ed said anxiously, holding out his hand. "I'm not going to feed you to the dog. I'm just taking you back to your brothers, ok? Please, don't make this hard on me…"

The kitten didn't budge and Ed moved even closer until he could grab him by the scruff of the neck. The tabby instantly curled up in submission, though he didn't look at all pleased with this turn of events. Ed shrugged off his coat and wrapped him up in it.

"Got him!" Ed shouted in triumph.

Alexander, in an attempt to share his victory, stood up on two legs and pressed his paws against the bookcase just as Ed began to climb down the other side. Their combined weight tilted it just far enough for him to lose his grip and drop to the floor. But the bookcase didn't stop there and Ed barely had time to register the danger he was in before the whole thing came crashing down.


	4. The Little Helper

Chapter Four - The Little Helper

"Oh_ craaaaaap!_"

Ed's shout was drowned out when the falling bookcase crashed into the one behind him and it, too, began to fall. He curled protectively over the kitten as dozens of heavy books rained down, leaving him even more bruised and banged up than before. Distantly, Ed was aware of more crashes and Alexander barking and now there were frantic voices outside the door. He thought he could hear Nina crying.

"_Ed, are you ok?_"

"_Little Big Brother!_"

"_The door's locked, I can't-!_"

"_Please calm down. I have a key right here…_"

The door opened and Ed heard audible gasps when Shou, Nina and Al all saw the mess. Ed shoved a book off his head and took a look around. The bookcase was only a foot above him. He had been spared a bone-crushing death by the fact that it was leaning against the other fallen bookcase. The two on the other side had probably been knocked down as well.

Shou was going to _murder_ him for this. If Mustang didn't get there first. And they would have to get in line behind those damn kittens.

"Are you in here, Edward?"

"Brother, please talk to me!"

"Here, Al," Ed groaned. His head was starting to pound pretty badly. "Just catching the…"

He lifted up his coat and trailed off. The kitten had vanished. Again.

"…crap."

Alexander bark in agitation and, to Ed's utter amazement, slowly wormed his way under the bookcase to him. When he reached Ed, the dog gently bit his wrist and tugged him through the mess of books back out into open air. Al and Nina both converged on him while Shou watched from a distance in satisfaction. "I trained him to keep an eye on Nina from an early age," the man explained. "So if anything should happen to Nina when I wasn't around, he could provide some assistance. Dear, this is quite the mess…"

Al's hand hovered over a cut on his head. "You're bleeding! Come on, you need to lie down."

Ed couldn't find the strength or excuses to argue. He allowed Al to steer him away from the library into the den where a crackling fire and a plush sofa awaited. He sank into the cushions with an appreciative moan. This was turning into a _very_ long day.

"Is Little Big Brother gonna be ok?" Nina asked sadly. Her eyes were still swimming in tears.

"Little Big Brother's fine," Ed said with a weak grin. "I just screwed up, that's all. Sorry, Tucker."

"It's nothing serious," Shou assured him. "It looks like the bookcases survived the fall and the books can be repaired. I'm much more relieved that you're alright."

Ed nodded, but stopped quickly when the motion made his head swim. He was rapidly losing track of which way the ground was. Definitely a concussion. Now who was going to look after the kittens? Two were still lost and they hadn't been fed in who knew how long.

Al pressed a bandaid into place over the cut on his forehead and ran off to get more cold compresses for the bruises. Shou vanished into the kitchen with some vague statement about calling up a doctor. Only Nina and Alexander were remained, both looking lost and in desperate need of a distraction.

"Nina?" Ed whispered. "Can you do something for me?"

At once, Nina brightened up and stepped closer. Ed looked over his shoulder to make sure everyone was really gone before he continued. "This is a secret, ok? So you can't tell Al or your dad."

"Okay," Nina said almost too quickly. Ed had some misgivings then, but he had to take this risk.

"I wasn't chasing a rat earlier. It was a kitten."

Nina squealed in delight and Ed shushed her quickly. "Where did you get the kitten?" she whispered.

"I brought him back with me when I went to get milk," Ed explained.

"But you didn't get the milk."

"I _know_. Just listen. I actually brought back _three_ kittens..."

More squealing.

"...but two of them got away. One is hidden in the guest room upstairs, the one packed with boxes, but the other two are lost in the house somewhere. Your job is to find the lost two and bring them back to that room. And they're probably hungry, so bring some food to them, alright?"

Nina's forehead wrinkled as she strove to memorize the instructions. "Can Alexander help?"

"Yeah, of course he can," Ed said quickly. "Remember. Find the two kittens and hide them with the third kitten. And feed them. And don't tell Al or your dad."

"Why not?"

Ed bit his lip. What was he supposed to tell her? That if Al found out, he would remain a curious mixture of ecstatic and smug for years to come? That he would hold this over Ed's head every time he tried to get his way? That Ed's standing as the rule-enforcing older brother would be jeopardized for all eternity?

"Just don't tell them," Ed said finally. "Especially Al. If he finds out, he'll want to keep them and we just can't handle that right now. Not when we're studying so hard to become State Alchemists. After the storm ends, I'll find new homes for them."

Nina didn't look like she quite understood his reasoning, but she accepted her job readily enough. She and Alexander went off immediately to search. Ed lay back on the sofa until Al returned with the cold compresses for his bruises. Ed pressed one to his forehead gratefully while Al hovered over him.

"Any particular reason you're trying to kill yourself today?" Al asked sardonically. "You were out in that blizzard for over an hour earlier, did you know that? And just now, you almost got your head smashed in trying to get a rat!"

"I didn't exactly plan it," Ed grumbled. "And you're over exaggerating about the snow. It's nowhere nearly as bad here as it was in town."

It was the wrong thing to say. Al fell unnaturally silent and his head tilted toward the darkening window. It didn't take a psychic to recognize that brooding aura.

"Al," Ed muttered, "you're not thinking about them, are you?"

"What if they're still out there?" Al said worriedly. "They won't survive a night like this."

"I'm sure someone else picked them up," Ed insisted, but guilt was churning in his gut. This was the _last_ thing he needed.

"I should go get them," Al murmured.

"No!" Ed said hastily. "I don't want you out in a storm like this! Your joints will freeze right through and you won't be able to move, let alone find those damn kittens."

Al rounded on him suddenly. "How can you not be worried about them? Don't you even feel a little bad about leaving them? They could _die_ because of us!"

"Al…"

Al plunked himself down on the floor with his back against the couch, staring into the fire. "I don't want to talk about it."

Not knowing what else to say, Ed rolled on his side facing away from the fire. Should he tell Al the truth? Knowing the kittens were safe would probably make him happy...but if he told Al about the kittens now, it would only make it that much harder to get rid of them. Plus, what would happen if Shou learned the real reason why Ed trashed his library? He might decide that he and Al were more trouble than they were worth and send them to another alchemist for training, or even back to Risembool. And that was a risk Ed couldn't take.

Al would forget all about them eventually. Ed just had to give it time.


	5. Kittens And Flowers

Chapter Five - Kittens And Flowers

"Brother, wake up."

Ed pressed his face into the pillow. "Why should'ayee?" he slurred.

"Because you have a concussion and might go into a coma and die if I don't wake you up every six hours," Al recited lightly. "Or so the doctor says."

"Fine…up," Ed mumbled. He pushed back the thick blanket covering him and sat up carefully. He had fallen asleep on the couch at some point and it looked like Al had kept the fire going for him while he slept. At least his head wasn't hurting as badly as before.

Al sighed. "You don't have to get _up_ up."

"Need a bathroom," Ed muttered vaguely as he stumbled out the door of the den, scratching his stomach absently. It was either late night or early morning, he couldn't tell which. He must have slept straight through the doctor's visit, though he vaguely remembered a dream about some guy with a beard shining a light in his eyes.

Halfway up the stairs, Ed remembered there was a perfectly good bathroom downstairs that he could have used. He shrugged it off and kept going. He might as well check on the kittens while he was up. And speaking of which...

"Oh sure, _now_ you come out of hiding," Ed whispered at the gray tabby sitting at the top of the stairs. He mewed plaintively and Ed scooped him up to take back to the guest room. When he opened the door, Alexander lifted his head and cast him a doggy grin, tail wagging. He didn't move though, as he was currently acting as Nina's pillow. Both of the other kittens were fast asleep in the basket and Ed had to resist the urge to snicker at the red ribbon tied neatly around the black one's neck. Definitely Nina's addition. Beside the basket was a saucer of milk and some kibbles.

Wait, milk? Ed stared blankly at the saucer while his brain played catch-up. They were supposed to be out...

He shrugged set the tabby by the milk, which he started sucking down like it was the water of life. Ed shuddered and made to wake Nina. She opened her eyes groggily. "Little Big Brother? Sorry, I couldn't find the other one…"

"It's alright, I found him on my way up," Ed assured her. "It's way past your bedtime."

"Nuh-uh," Nina protested faintly. She crawled over to the basket and watched the kittens with a dreamy smile. "They're cute."

"When they're sleeping, maybe," Ed conceded, though he had to admit she was right. They were the picture of innocence all curled up together. The gray one finished his meal and hopped into the basket to join his brothers, who welcomed him with sleepy mews.

"Where did you get the milk?" Ed asked.

"It's evaporated milk," Nina explained, sticking her tongue out in disgust. "I don't like it, but they do. Especially the one with the funny foot."

"The one with…what funny foot?"

Nina pointed at the orange tabby and Ed noticed for the first time that one of his hind paws was limp. He ran his thumb carefully over the foot in question. The kitten didn't flinch, so at least he wasn't in pain. But under Ed's light touch, a chunk of fur fell away, revealing that the skin underneath had turned an ugly black. Frostbite.

Ed grimaced and scratched the kitten's ears in apology. He knew exactly what it was like to be without a leg to stand on. And this explained why this kitten had stayed put while his brothers ran off. The foot would probably have to be amputated eventually. Could Ed have prevented this if he had just taken them when Al said they should?

"We should move them someplace warmer," Ed said softly.

"Can they stay in my room?" Nina pleaded. "They can sleep with Alexander!"

"I guess that's alright. Just remember, we're keeping these guys a secret."

Nina nodded with all the solemnity that a four-year-old could muster. Ed picked up the basket and the food and followed Nina and Alexander down the hall to her room. Unlike the spare room, hers was much warmer and Alexander climbed right into his bed in the corner with a contented sigh.

"Bed now," Ed said, nodding at Nina's own bed. The girl climbed in reluctantly while Ed placed the basket next to Alexander.

"Can we keep them?" Nina murmured.

Halfway to the door, Ed stopped with a small sigh. He had been waiting for that question. "No, Nina. We can't keep them."

"Not even one?"

"Not even one."

"I'll take care of them!" Nina said earnestly. "I'll name them and feed them and everything!"

"And I'm sure you would do a great job," Ed agreed. "Go to sleep, ok? Tomorrow, I'll start looking for new homes for them."

Nina rubbed her eyes and looked back at the kittens in longing.

"Don't worry," Ed assured her. "I'll let you see them again before I leave. And if you get some sleep, there might be some magic flowers waiting for you when you wake up."

Nina smiled at that and Ed left her alone, making his way back to the den with a sinking heart. Tomorrow was going to be rough. Somehow, he had to sneak out of the house with the kittens, find permanent homes for all three and return without arousing suspicion. Ed couldn't risk keeping them for another day, but he could hardly go door to door asking strangers if they wanted an extra mouth to feed.

His train of thought was interrupted when he came back to the den and found a note waiting for him on his pillow.

_Went to find the kittens. Sorry, Brother. Al_

Ed sank slowly onto the couch and looked out the window. The blizzard had blown itself out at last and the sky was perfectly clear.

"Damn it, Alphonse..."


	6. Like Fungus

_A.N. The title of the chapter will make sense at the end, I promise!_

Chapter Six - Like Fungus

Breakfast the next morning wasn't the most pleasant of affairs. On the plus side, Ed woke up feeling one hundred percent recovered and went right to work making Nina a flower wreathe and getting the kittens fed. With her help, he even managed to whip up a platter of pancakes for the household, despite the fact that Al couldn't eat and Shou had yet to come down for breakfast. Shou's absence was a normal occurrence, but Al's subdued manner bothered Ed. He didn't even pretend to eat, just fiddled around with the silverware glumly. Ed had seen him return at dawn, shoulders slumped in depression, and now a roaring debate was raging in his head while Ed traced arrays in the syrup on his plate.

"I'm sure they're fine, Al," Ed said quietly. "You shouldn't worry so much."

Without a word, Al stood and took his still-full plate to the sink to clean it off. Ed ducked his head. What else was he supposed to say?_ The kittens are perfectly safe, by the way sorry I made you think they froze into little kitty popsicles... _

Yes, that would go over _very_ well, Ed was sure. Al was already mad at him for leaving them behind in the first place. Add in the fact that the kittens were responsible for his concussion and the trashed library, and Al would get a nice dose of guilt for wanting them in the first place. And it wouldn't be worth it anyway, since they would still have to give them up. It was a lose-lose situation.

At least that's what Ed kept telling himself.

Nina alone remained oblivious to the cold atmosphere, occupied as she was with dropping pieces of sticky pancakes to the floor for Alexander. The door swung open a moment later and Shou made his appearance, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. From the state of his clothes and the circles under his eyes, he had pulled another all-nighter.

"Morning, Daddy!" Nina proclaimed.

"Yes, I suppose it is," Shou admitted halfheartedly. "Are you feeling better, Edward?"

Ed nodded. "Yeah, my head's totally back to…to…"

Just before the door swung shut, the gray tabby slipped into the kitchen with his nose held high. He trailed only inches behind Shou's feet as the man walked right behind Al and took a seat at the table across from Nina. Ed swallowed dryly when the kitten vanished under the table just as Al turned back around to get more dishes. On the pretext of reaching for more syrup, Ed leaned over so he could speak to Nina without being overheard. "You closed your bedroom door, right?"

"Nope," Nina said promptly. Five seconds later, the implications processed and she looked up with wide eyes. "Oops…"

Shou scooped some pancakes onto his own plate. "In that case, I would appreciate it if you started cleaning up the library today."

"Uh huh," Ed said absently. He lifted the tablecloth furtively and spotted the tabby creeping toward Alexander with his eyes locked on the pancakes. The dog growled in warning.

"Alexander?" Al inquired. "What's wrong, boy?"

Al took a step toward Alexander and Ed jumped to his feet to intercept him. "Hey Al, why don't you come help me with the library! It's going to take a lot of manpower to get those shelves upright!"

"You're the one who knocked them down in the first place," Al pointed out sullenly.

Catching on quickly, Nina leaned down and covered the kitten with an empty bowl from the table. Shou frowned at the action. "Nina, are you giving Alexander scraps again?"

Nina started guiltily. "N-No…"

On the floor, the bowl began to slowly inch its way toward Shou's foot.

"You know I don't like you feeding him our food," Shou said sternly. "Pick it up, please."

"I'll get it, Mr. Tucker!" Ed said hastily and ducked under the table where Alexander was nudging at the bowl with his nose. Nina slithered off her seat and joined him behind the cover of the tablecloth where Ed handed the fidgeting kitten off to her.

"Take him back to your room," Ed whispered. "And make sure the other two are still there."

"Uh oh," Nina squeaked and pointed at the door where the black kitten was peeking in at them.

"Oh _crud,_" Ed groaned.

"Hey, I think I see that rat from yesterday!" Al exclaimed. "It's there, outside the door..."

"_I'm on it!_"

Ed rolled out from under the table and sprinted for the door while Al called after him to please _not _crack his head open for the second time in twenty-four hours. The kitten scampered away at his sudden movement and he pursued it to the entrance hall. Once there, Ed turned a full circle and saw that at least the orange tabby had stayed at the top of the stairs, too unsure of his own footing to brave staircase.

Nina appeared at his side with the gray kitten in her hands and Ed pointed up the stairs. "Get him and get those two back to your room. _Hurry!_"

Nina rushed up the stairs and Ed set off down the only other hallway to find the black kitten. There was only one door at the end of this hallway, the one that led to the basement and Shou's laboratory. But it was always closed and locked so the kitten couldn't go any farther once he reached it.

But when he rounded the corner, the door to the laboratory was cracked open. Shou must have forgotten to lock it before coming up the night before. Ed moved closer to the door and peered down the dark staircase on the other side. No kitten. He backed up nervously and glanced over his shoulder. This was different than the library. All of Shou's research, his entire life's work, was down there. Ed and Al had never been permitted to see that research or the workspace where Shou created his chimeras. If Shou found out he entered the lab without permission, Ed doubted very much he would get away with a slap on the wrist.

Down below, something snarled and a chill crawled up Ed's spine. Waiting around up here wouldn't bring the kitten back. He pushed the door open fully and descended the stairs. His footsteps alerted whatever was down there to his presence and more hungry growls met his ears. At the bottom of the stairs, Ed let his eyes wander over the first room. Dozens of cages were stacked against the stone walls and every one of them contained a living, breathing chimera. This was the very first time Ed had laid eyes on one and it was nothing like he expected. In his mind, he had seen them as normal animals with a few exchanged body parts or extra senses.

But these were _monsters_. Their bodies weren't designed for functionality. Too many limbs or too few, mismatched eyes, claws and teeth sharp enough to rend human flesh. Dozens of glowing eyes gazed at him from behind curtains of matted fur, some filled with rage and others lonely. Their skin clung to their bones and tongues swept across parched lips seeking the tiniest drop of water.

Was creating a speaking chimera really worth all the agony these animals had to suffer through?

Ed moved further into the room, not daring to look any of the chimeras in the eye. Near to one of the cages, the black kitten had gotten his ribbon snagged on a broken nail. Thankfully, the chimera inside had no interest in the black ball of fluff, preferring to stare blankly at the opposite wall. Ed tugged the ribbon free and pulled the terrified kitten close to his chest. He wouldn't stop thrashing around, clearly terrified of the chimeras. With one last look at the cages, Ed took the kitten and fled the lab.

He didn't breath again until he was back up on the first floor where he pulled the door shut and leaned against it, heart in his throat. The kitten licked his finger.

"You guys are a real pain to look after," Ed muttered. This had gone on long enough. He just had to march up to that room, grab the kittens and take them away. It was as simple as that. But even as he stomped up the stairs to do just that, Ed couldn't help but look down on the kitten in his arms with something like regret. Despite how difficult and downright painful it was to take care of them, the last thing he wanted to do was let the kittens out of his sight. When had he gotten so damn sentimental? Not even a day had passed and he was already starting to think of them as "his" kittens and not strays at all.

When Ed got to Nina's room, he found her sprawled out on her stomach playing with the other kittens. She had found a bit of string somewhere and was dangling it above their heads, laughing as they chased it back and forth. Alexander seemed content to watch from the sidelines and Ed hesitated, unwilling to disturb the scene before him.

And he forgot to close the door. Which Al took as an invitation to walk right in. "Ed? Mr. Tucker said he'd call an exterminator, so…"

Al trailed off, standing motionless in the doorway. Normally, Ed didn't embarrass easily, but now he couldn't stop his face from flushing at being caught red-handed with a kitten in his hands. The two tabbies peered up at the new arrival curiously, but soon went right back to their game.

Nina looked between Ed and Al uncertainly. "Are we in trouble, Little Big Brother?"

"Um," Ed mumbled, and he unconsciously held the black kitten a little closer. "I just…okay, this is what happened…"

Shou came up behind Al with a puzzled look on his face, like he couldn't quite decide what to make of the kittens. "It looks like we won't need that exterminator after all. Would either of you care to explain this? Edward? Nina?"

Nina's bottom lip quivered. "Can we _please_ keep them, Daddy? They don't have any Mommies or Daddies to take care of them, and we've been doing a really, _really_ good job and Alexander likes them, and-!"

"_You saved them!_" Al cried joyously. "I can't believe it, you really went back for them!"

He plucked the kitten out of Ed's hands and cradled him like he was made of glass. The kitten looked around in bemusement at the change in perspective and Ed was struck by how much smaller he looked in Al's hands, which were twice his size. Ed rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, unable to hold back a delighted grin. "What can I say? They grew on me…like a fungus."

* * *

_A.N. Final chapter will be up sometime tomorrow. What will happen to the kittens?_


	7. The Fortunate Ones

_A.N. Merry Christmas! The final chapter is up and the fate (and names) of the kittens will now be decided! Thanks for reading everyone!_

Chapter Seven - The Fortunate Ones

Everyone, animals included, regrouped in the den where Ed regaled them all with the story of how he saved the kittens from the blizzard. Ed, Al and Nina all ended up seated on the floor during the narration, watching the black and gray kittens wrestle around. Nina had the orange tabby cuddled in her lap, looking very much the part of a nature princess with Alexander as her throne and a wreathe of flowers in her hair.

"You didn't have to keep them a secret," Al reproached when Ed was finished. "You know how worried I was about them."

"I know," Ed said apologetically, "but I just knew you would get on my case about it. Besides, I'm supposed to be setting an example for you."

Al tossed one of Alexander's toys into the fray and laughed when the kittens both tackled it. "Oh, don't worry. You're setting a _very_ good example. Now I know it's alright to pick up kittens as long as you don't find out!"

"Who said anything about that?" Ed sputtered. "You can't pick up kittens _period!_"

"Can we name them?" Nina begged. "I wanna name them!"

"Absolutely not!" Ed snapped. "Naming them is just one step away from keeping them."

"I vote we name them!" Al said instantly.

"Me too!" Nina cried.

Shou smiled at Ed's confounded look. "There's certainly no harm in naming them. As long as everyone understands that they will not be living with us permanently."

Sensing that he was outnumbered, Ed huffed and leaned against the couch with his arms crossed. "Fine. What did you guys have in mind?"

Silence met his inquiry. Of course, no one had actually thought past getting permission to name them. After a moment, Al touched the gray tabby. "I think we should name him after Alexander."

Ed sized up the kitten in question. "Why's that?"

"He kind of acts like Alexander," Al replied. "A strong name for a strong kitten. You told me that he's the one who risked his life to get your attention, right? He can be Alexander the Second."

"Nina, what would you like to call that one?" Shou asked and Ed's heart took a plunge when he indicated the orange tabby. Because Nina was still a young kid and kids liked to name pets based on the obvious. And nothing was more obvious than the kitten's weak foot, which meant he might get saddled with Gimpy or Funny Foot or something equally degrading. Ed ran a hand up and down his automail leg absently. She probably wouldn't even understand why names like that were hurtful and what could he say to dissuade her?

Nina thought on it for a full minute. Suddenly, her eyes brightened up with an idea and Ed braced himself.

"Let's call him Cheese!" Nina proclaimed.

Even Alexander raised a furry eyebrow. Ed and Al stared at each other in shock. "_Cheese?_"

"Cheese," Nina said promptly. "Because he's the same color as the cheese that Mommy likes."

Ed nearly bit his tongue trying not to burst out laughing. "Cheese it is!" he chuckled.

"You should name the last one, Brother," Al said unexpectedly. "You saved them in the first place. Think of something good for him."

"Her," Shou corrected him. "That black one is a female, I believe."

There was a knock at the door and Shou left to answer it before he had a chance to see Ed's dumbfounded look. "A _girl?_ I didn't even think to check…"

"How could you not check?" Al asked in disbelief. "We could have been giving guy names to a bunch of girls!"

Ed threw up his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright, I get it! Just let me think for a minute."

But once he got the silence he wanted, his mind blanked out. Aside from helping to pick a name for Den, he hadn't named a pet in his life. Ed scrutinized the black kitten as she pounced on another toy. Nothing really stood out about her aside from her color, but he didn't want to pick a name based on appearance. It had to go deeper than that...and then it hit him. Throughout this whole thing, the kittens had been together. But she alone had inadvertently ventured into the most dangerous part of the house and lived. That went above and beyond mere luck. She needed a name that would reflect that.

"Maybe we could call her Fortune," Ed suggested, feeling a little self-conscious. "They're all pretty fortunate to have lived through that blizzard, so it kind of makes sense. Right?"

Al nodded in approval. "I like it. It's a good name."

"Why Ed, I had no idea you were such a sap."

Ed's previous good mood took a nosedive when none other than Roy Mustang entered the den with Shou behind him. "Shut it, Mustang! What are you even doing here?"

Mustang brushed some snow off his coat and Ed felt a bit of satisfaction at how cold he looked just by walking from the car to the front door. "I'm here to make sure you're still alive. I heard you had an unfortunate incident with a rat. Or three, apparently."

"Still breathing," Ed said grumpily. "Can you go now?"

"Actually, Colonel," Al spoke up. "Now that you're here, do you know anyone who might be willing to adopt these kittens? Brother saved them from the blizzard last night…"

"Not helping with the sappy image, Al!"

"Anyway, do you have any ideas? Or maybe you could take one!"

Mustang opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Fortune jumping on his foot. He looked down at her with a grimace and gently shook her off. "I'm not really a cat person. Although…"

"Although?" Ed pressed.

"The other day, Hughes was going on about getting Elysia a pet," Mustang said thoughtfully. "He was pretty fixed on getting some cats from the shelter, something about teaching her responsibility."

"She's two weeks old!" Ed said in exasperation. "Someone needs to give Hughes a refresher course on child development."

"Would he really take them?" Al asked eagerly.

"I don't think he'll take all three," Mustang cautioned them. "At best, he might take two. But I can already see that those things are going to distract you from your studies, so I might as well take them all with me now. I'll find someone to adopt the third."

"They have to go_ now?_" Nina wailed. "I don't _want_ them to go now!"

It took nearly ten minutes for Ed and Al to calm Nina down, which gave Mustang plenty of time to prepare a box lined with thick blankets to transport the kittens. Ed stood back awkwardly while Al and Nina took the time to say goodbye to each of them. Once they stepped away, Mustang hefted the box in his arms and offered it to Ed with a mocking smile. "Aren't you going to miss them, Ed?"

Three pairs of brown eyes stared Ed down. Cheese and Fortune didn't seem to understand what was happening, but Alexander the Second glared at him accusingly. Like he had known the whole time that Ed was planning to get rid of them again.

Ed turned away sharply. "Nope."

He waited until after Mustang left and flopped down on the couch with a sigh. He shouldn't have any reason to feel depressed. Ed had planned to get rid of them from the start, after all. This was exactly why he hadn't wanted Al to bring them home! As it turned out, his little brother was having an easier time with this than he was. Ed gazed out the window behind him to watch Mustang walk toward the military car with the box safely in his arms. Before he could reach it, the front door opened and Shou called him back. They began having some kind of discussion which had Mustang looking a little uncomfortable. Ed cast a shrewd look at Al, who was still comforting a sniffling Nina, and cracked the window open. Chilly air rushed inside along with a faint conversation.

"…would only need one, sir. You see, my assessment is coming up so fast…"

Mustang shook his head, but it wasn't a firm refusal. "There are plenty of stray animals at the shelter, aren't there?"

Shou sighed, his breath clouding thickly in the air. "But those are usually older animals, too old to be of any use. I rarely get a chance to use subjects that are so young and healthy."

Ed almost had a heart attack then and there. Shou wanted the kittens as _subjects!_ Even after knowing how hard Ed and Nina worked to help them. Was he really that desperate?

Mustang looked down on the box, up at the mansion and back at Shou. "I don't feel right about going behind Ed and Al's backs. I need to establish some form of trust with them and if they find out…"

"I'll be discreet," Shou promised.

With only the smallest hesitation, Mustang offered up the box reluctantly and Shou reached inside. A flashback of the horrid creations that lived right below their feet raced through Ed's mind as his heart pounded in his chest. Which kitten would end up like that? When Shou's hand reappeared, Fortune was hanging from his fingers by the little red ribbon Nina had given her. Ed bit the inside of his lip. _Not her_, he thought childishly. _Please not her! I named her, she's mine!_

Mustang opened the car door and stowed the box in the passenger seat while Shou came back into the house with Fortune. Ed, unable to stop himself, jumped to his feet and caught up with him just inside the front door. "Mr. Tucker, wait-!"

Shou started at his appearance and Fortune slipped out of her ribbon, vanishing through the door almost faster than Ed could blink. Shou almost made to go after her, but something changed his mind and he quietly closed the door. "Yes, Edward?"

"I-I just…wanted to say goodbye to the kittens," Ed lied quickly. "But they're already gone, so never mind."

Feeling Shou's eyes on him, Ed retreated back to the den and resumed his seat on the couch. He took another furtive look out the window, following a trail of tiny pawprints with his eyes all the way to the car. Fortune was just a little black speck in the snow as she yowled up at the windows, demanding to be let in from the cold. The driver door opened and Mustang leaned out to scoop her up one-handed. But instead of putting her in the box with the other two, he set Fortune in his lap. And maybe it was his imagination, but Ed thought he saw Mustang scratch her ears a little before he shut the door.

"Not a cat person, huh?" Ed muttered smugly. "You better take care of her, Mustang."


End file.
